In this powerful episode of Early Childhood Chapters, host Emily Garman sits down with Kimberly King, a certified sexual abuse prevention educator, teacher, and author of Body Safety for Young Children: Empowering Caring Adults. Kimberly shares actionable strategies for teaching body safety in an age-appropriate, empowering way, starting as early as toddlerhood. We discuss the importance of body autonomy, addressing myths and misconceptions, and creating a comprehensive body safety plan for families and classrooms. This episode is packed with practical tips and resources to help parents, teachers, and caregivers feel confident discussing this critical topic and protecting the children in their care.
Key Takeaways:
The Importance of Body Safety: Teaching body autonomy and empowering children with knowledge about their bodies can help prevent sexual abuse and create safer environments.
Simple Steps for Parents and Caregivers: Start with everyday conversations about body parts, body rights, and boundaries. Normalize these discussions to make future conversations less intimidating.
Recommended Resources:
Kimberly highlights her favorite body safety books, including her own titles (I Said No! and Body Safety for Young Children), as well as works by other authors like Jayneen Sanders. She also recommends organizations such as SAPREA and Darkness to Light for free resources and training.
Addressing Resistance and Myths:
Many parents worry about scaring their children or believe discussing body safety will encourage inappropriate behavior. Kimberly debunks these myths and explains how open, age-appropriate conversations actually protect children.
The Role of Erin's Law:
Erin’s Law mandates body safety education in public schools in 38 states. However, many teachers and administrators are unaware of this requirement. Kimberly emphasizes the need for awareness and collaboration between schools and parents.
Practical Tips:
- Introduce body safety conversations early and organically, such as during bath time or playtime.
- Teach children that they don’t have to hug or touch anyone if they don’t want to and that they have the right to say "no."
- Reinforce that their bodies belong to them and provide clear, simple rules about boundaries.
- Practice "what if" scenarios to help children think through and respond to challenging situations.
If you found this episode helpful, please share it with fellow parents, teachers, and caregivers. Together, we can empower families and communities to create safer environments for children. Don’t forget to subscribe to Early Childhood Chapters so you never miss an episode!
Interview Transcript
The following is a lightly edited version of the interview transcript.
Emily Garman: Welcome to early childhood Chapters, the podcast from Gryphon House books. I'm your host, Emily Garman. Today we're joined by Kimberly King, the author of Body Safety for Young Children: Empowering Caring Adults. Kimberly is a certified sexual abuse prevention educator, a teacher, and a parent who has dedicated her career to helping families and educators create safer environments for children.
In this episode, Kimberly shares actionable advice on how to teach body safety in an age-appropriate, empowering way. Starting as early as toddlerhood, we'll discuss the importance of teaching children body autonomy, the myths and misconceptions surrounding this topic, and how to create a comprehensive body safety plan for your family or classroom. Whether you're a parent, teacher, or caregiver, this episode is packed with resources and guidance to help you feel confident tackling this critical subject. Let's dive in.
Well, Kimberly King, welcome to Early Childhood Chapters, the podcast from Gryphon House books. We're really excited to have you here tonight.
I love your book. That seems like a strong word for a book about this topic, but I think it's such a valuable book. The first chapter in the book is titled "My Mess is My Message." And I think it really sets the tone for the book, for what you're talking about, the message you have, and lets people in. Can you talk about why you started the book that way and what that has meant for you?
Kimberly King: Yeah, sure. Well, thank you for having me, first of all, and I'm excited to talk about the book. I'm always talking about books, it seems like. And it's just such an important topic. So, the motivation behind that title was Robin Roberts, she shared her personal journey about surviving cancer and helped so many people. And so when we had, you know, this issue happen—my son had an unsafe sleepover, I would call it, where a friend violated his body boundaries in a way that made him feel unsafe and uncomfortable, more than normal curiosity type of thing—he came and told me right away because I had taught him some very simple body safety concepts and rules.
So he knew to tell me. And so I thought to myself, and, you know, talking with my son as we kind of recouped from the situation, "Why don't we try to create something that could help other kids?" Because we're definitely not alone. This happens to so many children, and the statistics on child-to-child sexual abuse are now completely staggering. They account for up to 70% of sexual abuse. So this topic and talking about it is so important because sharing our messages and our message can literally save another child's life, even with just a little bit of information. So that's kind of where we started.
Emily Garman: As a parent, I know for me, the main reason that I've had difficulty discussing this with my child, with my family, is because I'm afraid of scaring her. I'm afraid of scaring my child. So I think this is difficult. It's a difficult topic for adults to discuss with each other. We certainly don't know how to talk to young kids about it. What are some of the suggestions you have for doing that?
Kimberly King: So I think the easiest way to start is just by normalizing conversations about their body and how it works and the right names for the parts. And then teaching, you know, that they have body autonomy and they have body rights. So they don't always have to hug if they don't want to. And they're allowed to set some boundaries even when they're children because children have rights too. And I think often we forget that. But when we start talking about those very basic things in a kid-friendly way from the start, then the conversations that have to come after that are a whole lot less scary.
I recommend that by the time your child is five, you start reading body safety books. There are so many great ones out there. And I mention in the book that we're talking about that I have book lists. So I have my top five favorite kid-friendly book lists. But what's interesting about books for young children is that until very recently, nobody really studied whether they were effective or not or whether they had the right strategies or not, or if they were going to scare children or not.
So there was actually a researcher named Eleanor Craig. She is from the University of Leeds, and she did an extensive study on all of the books that are available and ranked, like, the top ten, which were rated as effective, kid-friendly, with the right information. And just there were not that many that scored super high. But my original book I Said No was the number one book in the study.
So there are resources and there are really good resources—not just mine, but there are a group of resources that are easy to just sort of start these conversations with. There are other authors, and we all work together in this field because, like, who wants to compete when we're talking about protecting children? So I promote everybody's books. Some of my favorites are Jaynene Sanders—she writes body safety books—and Shariea Shoatz, who is another great author. And then if you search any child advocacy center across the country or type in "child advocacy center" or "Erin's Law," you can usually find a list of recommended resources from your state.
Those are the easiest ways to broach the topic. For instance, in kindergarten today (I teach kindergarten as well) we started introducing the topic of consent before Christmas. Because, you know, sometimes you get those unwanted hugs. There's a great book called Don't Hug Doug. It's silly and funny and light, but it has a really important message. It's not scary at all.
Emily Garman: That brings up an interesting question that I wonder about. As a teacher, do you get pushback from parents saying, "I don't want you talking about this kind of stuff with my child?" Or are they happy that you're doing it because they are too nervous to?
Kimberly King: Yeah, that's a good question. So, in 38 states, Erin's Law—a law that requires public schools to teach K through 12 body safety and prevention education—is already mandated. I'm in Connecticut. And it's interesting because not many teachers even know that that's a mandate. When I was at the NAEYC conference, I was talking with a lot of teachers from all over the country, and many don't know that it's even required.
So I'm trying to figure out why there's a gap. And I guess it's just like the trickle-down effect. A law is passed, then it goes to the regional level, and then it goes to principals and superintendents. Somewhere along the line, there are missed opportunities and missed information. But pretty much any school should be teaching body safety because it is not—and this is where we get murky. Many schools think that body safety means sex ed. You know, you don’t want your eight-year-old learning about sex—that wouldn’t be appropriate at school. But maybe at home, you do. Every parent is entitled to teach their children what they need to know when they feel it's appropriate.
But at school, there have to be different standards, and every school system sets those differently unless they’re covered under Erin's Law. So body safety really should be required in every state. It doesn’t have to be scary at all because all of these resources we talk about are kid-friendly. But there are so many survivors of sexual abuse that are now parents that even the topic can be very triggering to the parent. Even just teaching the correct body terms is something that I hear parents are uncomfortable with. And I think it’s important that we remember our kids don’t have any attachment to the words. They don’t have any reference point that it would be scary or not scary. So it’s easy to start early and just take it gradually. It can happen organically. As you're giving your child a bath, introduce the topic of the names, make a song about body safety, or ask them if they need privacy. Things like that can happen very gradually, so it doesn’t have to be scary.
Emily Garman: Earlier, when you were talking about your son’s experience, you said that you were able to address what happened pretty quickly because you had taught him some really simple things to look out for—signs, red flags. Can you talk about what those are? I know they’re in the book.
Kimberly King: Yes, definitely. One of the things that I would advise all parents is... And this I had to do—I had him sleep over at my neighbors’ because my husband was deployed, and I was giving birth. So there was really no other option. But I don’t recommend sleepovers for kids under ten. It’s just too risky for a variety of reasons. You don’t know the level of supervision that the parents might have. Even though you see them at the bus stop and they seem friendly, you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. You don’t know if there’s an older brother or cousins visiting. You don’t know if there are guns in the house. You just don’t know.
But I had taught my kids just a very simple thing: If anybody ever tries to touch your private parts, just say "no" and tell mom right away. That was really it. So they knew the names of the parts and they knew to tell. I also mentioned that this type of thing is never their fault, so they wouldn’t be ashamed to tell. He told right away, which was great. And because of that, I was able to talk with the mom about what happened. She kind of denied everything, but then years later, we found out that her, at the time, six-year-old was being abused by somebody at church. So it just doesn’t happen in isolation.
A simple rule like learning your body parts and your private part rules can really help, especially with child-to-child sexual abuse. Knowing the rules and reading books like I Said No can make a difference. If you don’t take steps to reduce the risk to your children and they are up against an adult predator, some of these things may not help. But that’s where the parent really needs to come in—doing background checks on babysitters, asking questions, getting references, popping back in to check, and becoming familiar with what grooming looks like so that you’re not a victim of grooming.
Groomers start with the parents first. They try to make you comfortable. It’s not always obvious—it’s a very subtle process. We talked about this in one of the chapters of the book. I explain different methods of grooming: what they are, what they look like, and how to identify them. That’s a really important chapter, I think, for parents, to help reduce the risks to their children.
Emily Garman: And you talk about, too, how it’s not the “man in the white van,” which, you know, when I was growing up, was what everybody warned us about. This mythical man in the white van offering you puppies and candy was the thing. And no one ever talked about family members or people at church or anything like that.
Kimberly King: Right, yeah. And it’s so interesting because, I mean, the “man in the white van” scenario is so rare. It can happen, but it’s very rare. So it’s important to address that part of it, yes. But that part of it is truly terrifying. And we didn’t even talk about family members. We didn’t even talk about teachers. There are so many things we still don’t talk about. Sibling sexual abuse is a very serious problem. And also female predators—they often go under the radar because women are judged as more nurturing. Some behavior we see from women, we might just write off as, “Oh, they’re just being maternal,” or what have you.
That’s why this book is so important because I share some of those survivor stories. One of them is from my friend Shariea Shoatz, who is a body safety author and founder of the nonprofit Buddy Speaks. Her son was abused by their nanny, who they loved. The nanny lived with them for years. She groomed Shariea to the point where the nanny became irreplaceable—like they couldn’t live without her. Then she groomed the community, the church, the school, and everyone around them. Sharia couldn’t quite figure out why her son’s behavior was changing because it wasn’t showing typical sexual abuse signs. It wasn’t in the normal range of red flags. Finally, after the nanny left, her son disclosed what had happened.
Her story is so valuable because it’s not always what you expect. It’s not always the “man in the white van.” It’s not always a creepy guy from the neighborhood. It can be anyone, at any time. And one of the things we all agree upon is that abuse can only happen when an abuser has time and opportunity with a child. So, time alone with your child and the opportunity to harm them—that’s when it happens.
In a situation where a child doesn’t tell for whatever reason—and there are a lot of reasons why they might be afraid to come forward—what are some things parents can look out for?
Well, with Shariea, for instance, there were some changes in potty behavior, like accidents and bedwetting. But in other circumstances, there are absolutely no signs. One of the people I interviewed for the book shared that their behavior changed in third grade. They went from being the quiet, passive kid to being the kid who was always getting in trouble, fighting, touching everybody, and roughhousing. They kept getting detentions and expulsions, and nobody ever asked, “Are you okay? Is something happening?”
I always advise parents that, whatever the behavior change is, it’s still okay to ask and remind a child that if anything has ever happened to them, it’s never too late to tell, and it’s never their fault. Having those conversations early, reading these books, and bringing these topics to the forefront is so important. If, God forbid, something does happen, hopefully, it’s minor and the child tells right away, instead of suffering through years of trauma from a family member, church member, or teacher.
Emily Garman: I think as parents, when we’re dealing with teachers, counselors, and principals, we often have an inherent trust in those people. And that can be a blind spot for many of us.
Kimberly King: Exactly. There was a case here in Norwalk, Connecticut, where a school counselor was abusing a student during therapy sessions in her office. It came to light just a few months ago. These are the situations where we really have to demand more, ask more questions, and advocate for safer procedures. Whenever there’s a closed door and an adult with a child, it’s literally not safe.
Emily Garman: You were talking about Erin’s Law earlier, and I’m wondering—does it provide any training for teachers to teach this subject?
Kimberly King: Yes. Erin’s Law includes resources for training. School systems can access free training from organizations like saprea.org, which offers incredible free resources for parents and educators. Another great organization is darkness2light.org, which provides tailored training for teachers, camp counselors, and others based on their specific roles. So, the resources are there—it’s just a matter of schools and individuals taking advantage of them. If you’re a parent or teacher, ask your principal about Erin’s Law. Print out information and share it. Prevention policies, training, and resources need to be on everyone’s radar.
Emily Garman: If a child discloses to a teacher or a teacher suspects something is happening, what should they do?
In the training, certified sexual abuse prevention educators like myself teach teachers what to look for, what the signs might be, and how to be a safe adult and report immediately. Teachers are mandated reporters, which means they must report any disclosure through the proper chain of command. Every school should have a sexual abuse prevention policy and training in place for these situations.
This actually happened to me during my first year of teaching. A little girl kept coming up to me and said her "cookie" hurt. I didn’t realize at first what she meant, but then she pointed to her private area. I immediately went to the school nurse and principal. Even if you don’t know the exact procedure, go to someone who can help right away.
Emily Garman: What does a success story look like here? For example, your son told you what happened, which is great. But it already happened to him. What does success look like?
Kimberly King: Success is preventing it from happening at all. For my son, he had what I would call a "boundary cross." It wasn’t pressured or threatening—just curiosity that crossed the line. Because he told me the first time, it didn’t happen again. When kids don’t tell and don’t know the rules or concepts, the abuse can continue and affect them long-term.
The sooner your kids are educated and empowered, the better the chances of preventing or catching something early. I’ve had parents tell me that after reading I Said No, their child disclosed something that had happened. That’s a success story.
I also teach a class called "Body Boss Boot Camp" for little kids, where I sing, dance, and talk about body safety in a fun way. Parents have shared so many stories about their kids identifying red flags and using the lessons they’ve learned. It’s about empowering kids in a way that’s not scary but effective.
Emily Garman: Kids like rules. They like understanding what’s okay and not okay. Giving them the language and tools they need to express themselves empowers them in everyday situations, not just in moments of danger.
One thing I tell parents is to rehearse "what if" scenarios. These are so helpful. For example, "What if you get off the bus and I’m not there? What do you do?" You guide them through the thought process and create a plan. It’s the same with body safety. If a situation arises, they’ll have practiced thinking through it, identifying their feelings, and taking action.
Emily Garman: When you encounter resistance from parents or educators—probably more so from parents—how do you handle that?
Kimberly King: Sometimes parents blame themselves when they hear their child disclose something. They think, "I should have done something differently." It’s natural to feel that way. If a parent lashes out at me or the book, I see it as a win if it means their child disclosed and the harm has stopped. That’s a success.
The biggest resistance I’ve faced is the fear of scaring children or the worry that kids might mimic what they hear in the book. But false reports are very rare, and children generally don’t find the topic scary—it’s often the parents’ fear and discomfort. These books and resources are designed to make conversations approachable and kid-friendly.
I actually wish I had written Body Safety for Young Children before I Said No because parents need to learn and prepare first. They need to brush up, take classes, read, and create a body safety plan for their family.
Emily Garman: What are we doing better now as parents and educators, and what should we be doing better?
Kimberly King: I think more parents are having open and honest conversations with their kids. That’s a big step. It’s an awkward topic, but many parents are brave enough to push past their discomfort to start these important conversations.
Where we need to improve is online safety. The risks from cell phones and the internet are immense, and many parents don’t realize how early these dangers can start. That’s another area where we can do better.
In the past, parents assumed kids would figure things out on their own. I think that’s the biggest mistake of previous generations. Now we know better, and we can do better.
The idea that talking about body safety will somehow encourage bad behavior is similar to the myth that teaching teenagers about sex will make them more likely to have sex. The evidence just doesn’t support that.
Right, exactly. Education and preparation are critical. You don’t have to do it perfectly, but you have to start. You can’t wait until you feel completely ready. The book is a great place to start—it gives you the tools and confidence to move forward.
Emily Garman: This episode is airing right before a busy holiday season. Families will be gathering, and there will be lots of activity. If parents don’t have time to read your book right now, what are some quick tips they can take into the holidays?
Kimberly King: Great question. Review body safety basics with your kids:
- You don’t have to hug anyone if you don’t want to.
- Your private parts have rules.
- If anything happens, tell me right away, and I’ll help you.
For adults, supervision is key. Make sure children are always in an observable area. No kids playing alone in the basement or upstairs with the door closed. Just doing this drastically reduces the chance of anything happening.
Also, no alcohol or substances for the supervising adults. Be clear-headed and attentive. These simple steps can protect your kids while still allowing everyone to have fun.
Emily Garman: What should a parent say if their child discloses something during the holidays, or at any time?
The immediate focus should be on getting the child to a safe place. Tell them you believe them, thank them for telling you, and make sure they feel safe. Don’t worry about "ruining" the holiday. The holiday is already ruined. The priority is the child’s safety.
Emily Garman: This makes your book, Body Safety for Young Children, a great gift for teachers and caregivers. I ordered it for some of the teachers at my school. They don’t need another coffee mug!
Kimberly King: Exactly! It’s the gift of safety. My principal read the preface and immediately decided to buy copies for everyone. The book is approachable and empowering—it’s not scary. It’s something you can read slowly, chapter by chapter, and come away feeling prepared.
This topic grows with children. The book we’re talking about focuses on ages 3 to 8, but it touches on online safety and provides resources for parents of older kids. The conversations you start now can evolve as your child grows. The key is letting your child know that they can always come to you, no matter what, and you’ll believe them and help them.
Emily Garman: Thank you for listening to this powerful episode of Early Childhood Chapters. I hope you gained valuable insights from Kimberly King about teaching body safety and empowering the children in your life. Remember, open and honest conversations, combined with the right resources, can make all the difference in creating a safer environment for kids.
If you’d like to learn more about Kimberly’s work or purchase her book, Body Safety for Young Children, check out the show notes for links and additional resources mentioned in today’s episode. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode. And if you found this conversation helpful, please share it with others who care for young children. Together, we can make a difference. Thanks for joining us, and we’ll see you next time.
